Friday, March 31, 2006

Is It Raining?

Why do you hear so many songs about rain?
  1. Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head
  2. Singing in the Rain
  3. Oh How I Wish that it Would Rain
  4. I Want to go Outside in the Rain
  5. Can you stand the Rain
  6. It's Raining Men (Ha Ha)
  7. Nights Like this I Wish that Raindrops Would Fall (Can't nobody sang like Eddie Kane Jr.)
  8. Melodies From Heaven (Is it reign or rain?)

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Beer Bash

Just when I thought everything was over and I complained about seeing his name everywhere, Apollo sent me an evite to his birthday beer bash on Saturday. Yes, I'm considering going. No, I don't drink beer. My justification: I was planning to do some other things in that area anyway. Let's see if I actually go.

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
- Sarah McLachlan


My friends and I used to sit around in our dorm room and play a little game called, "Things that make you feel good." We would say things like, "It feels good when you go home for Christmas and/or Spring break and you get your hair done by your favorite stylist because your mama is paying for it." We would all agree because we couldn't afford to go anywhere as poor college students. One of the other girls might say something like, "It feels good at the end of the semester when you sell your books back and you can go out to dinner and buy a new dress." We would go on like that around the circle, sipping on a drink (that wasn't supposed to be in the dorm), and just relaxing. Then, my girl Baraka would shake things up a little bit and do something crazy. One time she jumped out of the closet strapped and we all screamed with laughter. I would like to thank Kristin, Jaselyn, Ebony, and Baraka for those fun times. I didn't really like living in the dorm, but those girls made it tolerable.

So in honor of the girls of Diamond Hall, I'm going to start up the game again. Add to the list if you'd like.

Things that make me feel good...

- Walking in the rain without worrying about messing up my hair.

- Listening to Jill Scott telling me that I shouldn't stop loving. "Just because you've loved and lost, doesn't mean you stop loving. If you have a nightmare, you don't stop dreaming." True, true.

- Listening to a message from my mama where she says, "I just called to tell you I love you. Have a good day." I just melt everytime.

- Having a nice conversation with an attractive man who looks me in the face when I'm talking.

- Having my nephew look to me when his parents told him he couldn't do something. He knows I'm the one who will spoil him already. : )

- Trying to figure out which character I am on Grey's Anatomy with my best friend. Yes, we self-analyze.

- Driving with no traffic right before the sun sets. It's the golden time of day according to Frankie Beverly and Maze.

- Catching up with old friends.

- Having a friend that I can call at almost anytime (because he doesn't sleep at night) when I just want to talk and I need a slightly objective male perspective. I love you Trent.

- Walking on the streets of Harlem surrounded by history, culture... and all kinds of hustlers selling everything you need. Gotta love it.

- Having a kitchen full of food. It would be nice to have someone to cook with/for me though.

- Going to a park and jumping on a swing when there are no kids around. Kids ruin it because they run in front of you not caring about you accidentally kicking them in the head. That happened to my brother when we were kids and it traumatized me.

I'm going to end my list for now. Hopefully, something really, really good will happen to me soon.

Now, what song should I choose? Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm going to end all my posts with a song. Sometimes it will be based on what I wrote, and other times it will just be whatever is in my head at the time. Enjoy.

Happy feelin's in the air touching people everywhere
Plenty love and everything listen to the people sing
I got myself to remind me of love

My mind and my heart I believe in above
These happy feelin's I'll spread them all over the world
From deep in my soul I wish you

Happy Feelin's Happy Feelin's
Happy Feelin's Happy Feelin's
I've seen the light watch them shine down on me

I'm gonna spread my wings I'm gonna tell all I see
These happy feelin's
I spread them all over the world
Happy HappyHappy Happy feelin's
- Frankie Beverly and Maze

Thursday, March 16, 2006

What's in a Name?

My brother and his wife were looking for a name for the new baby. They decided that it had to start with a P because that is the next letter in our last name. I'd never heard of that naming convention, but if that's the way they wanted to do it, then so be it. My mother told me yesterday that they decided on a name. My nephew's name will be Premier Joe.

pre·mier ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pr-mîr, -myîr, prmîr)adj. First in status or importance; principal or chief: an architect of premier rank. First to occur or exist; earliest.

Okay, I have to admit that the name does have a significant meaning, but I couldn't stop laughing when I heard it. In fact, everytime I think about that name I can't help but break out into this huge grin. I can't imagine calling a little boy, or anyone for that matter, Premier. I liken that name to Prince, Princess, Precious - all of which happen to start with a P. Yes, these names have nice meanings, but they are just too cutesy for me. I guess it doesn't matter because he's not my child. However, I will have to say that name when people ask about him, or when we go out and I introduce him to friends and their kids. You know the kids at school will probably make fun of him too. I've already decided that I will be calling him PJ.

Because loving you....
Has made my life so beautiful....
And every day of my life
Is filled with loving you....
Loving you....
I see your soul come shining through....
And everytime that we....
Oh I'm more in love with you....
- Minnie Ripperton

Monday, March 13, 2006

Cross My Mind

Why is it that when you say you're finished with someone, you get all kinds of reminders of that person? You see their name. You hear "the song" or see "the movie" that belonged to the two of you. You see pictures of the two of you. You are copied on emails from mutual friends and you see that person's name too...and they are online at the same time as you. Your friends constantly ask what happened, because you haven't given them any details yet.
You decide to move on, but there are all these reminders of that special person who could have been the one, maybe. Actually, you didn't have enough time to come to that conclusion, but you could see real potential.
I know that it's over. I'm not in denial. I'm not making any effort to try to salvage or revive the little spark that we had. I tried and failed. I just want to know why I keep getting these reminders when least expected. He does not have a popular name by any means, but I keep seeing it.
A few examples:
1. The night I explained the situation to Hakimu, we passed by a sign on the side of the freeway with his name. I didn't say anything to him. I just thought it was crazy that I saw that name as I was talking.
2. The new major league soccer team decided to change it's name after protests from the community. His name was on the list of potential new team names. I could not believe my ears as I watched the news that night. Thankfully, they chose another name.
3. I needed new brakes for my car. I did an internet search for repair shops, and the first listing was a company with his name.
Why does he keep running (actually he's being pushed) across my mind? I don't know.
In the words of a sometimes wise man (Ishmael),

You just running cross my mind [3x]
I was just thinking about you, wondering what you doing I mean what you've been up to
I know its wrong feeling this strong let me take a second minute I will think this thing through
I was just thinking about you, wondering what you doing I mean what you've been up to
I know its wrong feeling this strong let me take a second minute I will think this thing through
Remember all the moments for two, how we used to
Oooh yeah
But the reality were never good for me and I was never good for you.
I just remember what we used to do....
-Jill Scott

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty...

One of my friends from home is in town for the weekend. She invited me to go out with her and a guy friend. I told her I would only go if someone else was going because I didn't want to be the 3rd wheel. She called him and asked if he had any guy friends who might be interested. He had a few friends around when she asked, and he asked one of them. The friend that he asked didn't sound too sure about going out with a stranger. He said he didn't do blind dates. I told her it wasn't really a date. We could meet up and part ways later, if we wanted. I just didn't want to be the only other person with them. She begins telling her friend that I'm prettier than her, and his friend has nothing to worry about. She repeated it several times. That struck me as odd. I wonder what this guy was thinking as she was saying that to him. Did he think she had a low self esteem? Did he think that she was lying to him just to convince his friend?

I know that I'm beautiful. So is she. I can't see myself ever telling a man that one of my friends is prettier than me. I have good-looking friends. I don't think that I'm prettier than any of them. I also don't think that any of them is prettier than me. I think that we are all beautiful. I am very confident in the way that I look. I do believe that we all have days when we feel more confident than others - like those days when you just can't get your hair the way you want it. Or, when you're sick and you think you look the way you feel on the inside.

I believe that when we're confident about our appearance, it shows. People who might not ordinarily like your hair or your clothes will give you a compliment based on the confident way that you present yourself.

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
- West Side Story

Friday, March 10, 2006

Piano Lessons

I'm watching a reality show where there are 2 boys in the family. The older boy is progressing well on the piano. He's even composed songs. The younger brother isn't doing quite as well. He feels a lot of pressure to be like his older brother. This kind of pressure can either propel or paralyze.

Which one am I? I am the older child who sets the standards by which the rest of the family is judged. I'm not saying it's right. That's just the way it is. I believe that people, especially children, should be acknowledged for their individual talents. Comparing siblings is a comparison of apples and oranges.

Random Thought: I love this song. It always reminds me of my childhood.

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow-white turtle doves (This is the only part I remember.)

Chorus:I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company(That's the song I hear)
I'd like to see the world for once(Let the world sing today)
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land
That's the song I hear(That's the song I hear)
Let the world sing today(Let the whole wide world keep singing)
A song of peace that echoes on
And never goes away

Put your hand in my hand
Let's begin today
Put your hand in my hand
Help me find a way